When you think of vulnerability, I bet you associate it with this common myth. Watch the video below to learn more and how you can bust this myth. If you prefer to read, scroll down for the blog on this instead.
Watch the video on A Myth of Vulnerability here:
Read the blog on A Myth of Vulnerability here:
Hey guys, my name is Diana Garcia; I’m a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida. I’m the Founder and Owner of Nurturing Minds Counseling, a private practice in Florida. Okay, so for today’s video, I’m going to talk a bit of one myth of vulnerability.
A lot of times, when you hear the word vulnerability, there’s an automatic reaction like “Uhh (with a cringe face).” It’s a visceral reaction of “Yeah, that’s a hard pass. I’m not going to be vulnerable!” A big reason for that is because most of the time, we associate vulnerability with being weak. We think that if you put yourself out there, it means you’re being puny. And that’s the myth!
Don’t feel bad if you buy into this myth; it’s a common myth that I often hear with many of my clients. Partly because this notion tends to be reinforced in our culture and for many of us in our upbringing. In fact, sometimes, the work in therapy is to dismantle this myth and start being able to practice being vulnerable (whether that’s with the therapist or when in couples/family therapy with each other). The reality is it’s actually the opposite of this myth. To be genuinely vulnerable means to be courageous.
You’re probably thinking, “Okay, if vulnerability isn’t weakness, what the heck is it?” The definition of vulnerability by Brené Brown is
- Uncertainty
- Emotional Exposure
- Risk
So whenever you’re faced with dealing with any of those three factors (uncertainty, emotional exposure, and risk), it means you have the potential to be vulnerable, right? So if you think about it, if you have to deal with any of those factors, to be able to do that, it means you’re going to have to tap into a massive dose of bravery. So again, it’s actually the complete opposite of weakness.
Vulnerability takes a lot of courage!
Any act of vulnerability is also an act of courage. Read that again. Here’s a simple example of what this looks like in action in your day-to-day life. Let’s say I’ve been ghosted, back to back on Bumble. After I’ve taken a break from dating altogether because I felt crushed after these awful experiences, an act of vulnerability might look like taking the risk to put myself out there again. It would take a lot of courage for me to put myself out there because there are no guarantees it will work out, and I might get hurt again. But I decide to be vulnerable because it matters to me (it taps into my value of relationships).
In this instance, being vulnerable encompasses all three elements.
- Uncertainty – I have no way of knowing that I will have a pleasant experience. I have to be willing to accept and tolerate this level of uncertainty.
- Emotional Exposure – If I’m putting myself out there on Bumble and start trying to connect with others, I’m also exposing my emotions a bit. More so, if I actually then begin meeting with anyone in person, there could be even more emotional expression.
- Risk – There is a risk that I could get ghosted again and feel hurt again. This is part of the equation. There’s nothing I can do to prevent this (other than not going back on this or any other dating app, which would be counter to my value of relationships).
So when we’re talking about vulnerability, it’s really starting to shift the narrative that to be vulnerable is to be brave. And we have to be willing to be vulnerable if we want to have a truly intimate connection with other people in our life. Yeah, that’s right, there are no cheat codes to intimacy; you have to rumble with the main boss, aka vulnerability. I’ll talk about that in another video. For this post, I just want to focus on really dispelling this first myth of vulnerability.
All right, guys, I hope this information about this myth of vulnerability is helpful. If you’re interested in further exploring the concepts of vulnerability, check out my page on The Daring Way and send me a message that you want to get notified when the next workshop is running.
I encourage you guys to continue nurturing your mind, body, and soul, whatever that looks like for you. All right, have a good one!