Therapy for People Pleasing in Weston

Hello!

My name is Diana Garcia , and I love providing therapy for People Pleasing in Weston, FL.

You can probably relate to:

  • Feeling sick and tired of putting everyone else needs before your own.
  • Exhausted from trying to juggle everything, mainly because you keep saying yes to every new request thrown your way.
  • Feeling resentful towards the people in your life because they have no problem saying no and keep wanting more and more from you.
  • Constantly seeking others’ approval to feel momentary good, but that feeling doesn’t last, and you’re left having to do more and more to quiet that “not doing enough” voice.
  • Setting boundaries and being assertive seems like speaking Japanese, which seems easier to do.

I understand, and I’m here to help!

I help stressed-out people-pleasers prioritize their needs, let go of the need to constantly please others, and feel confident in their ability to say hell no!

If you’re ready to focus on your needs, schedule a complimentary consultation with me today.

Signs of People Pleasing

You and others would label you as a friendly and kind person on the outside, which isn’t a bad thing. But the behaviors that contribute to being nice can come at your own expense and can be partially driven by other internal motivations rather than just being nice.

To be clear, when you hear the term people-pleasing, it’s not related to one specific mental health diagnosis since it is not a particular diagnosis. Instead, it’s more of a term associated with some of the following signs that can be related to many different mental health disorders and not associated with any specific diagnosis. The term people-pleasing has become popularized recently and refers to an individual who tends to struggle with some or all of these signs:

  • You have an intense desire to please others and be liked by other people. It’s common for most people to want to be liked, but this desire tends to be pretty high and dictates many of your decisions.
  • You struggle with saying no or setting limits with people in your life.
  • You tend to avoid confrontation (again, which can be expected for most), but this is more of a chronic and consistent pattern. Typically this avoidance of conflict comes at the expense of your own needs.
  • You also find yourself constantly apologizing, even for things that are not your fault.
  • You thrive on getting others’ approval to the point that it seems like your self-esteem depends on this.
  • You feel depleted and resentful towards others in your life because your needs always get pushed to the backburner.
  • You take on tasks and activities that you genuinely don’t want to do, but you struggle with the thought of saying no.
  • The mere thought of someone being upset or mad at you gets under your skin, and you struggle to let it go.
  • You tend to be a rule follower and strive to ensure you’re doing things the “right way.”
  • Receiving negative feedback can sometimes feel defeating and shakes you to your core.
  • You neglect your own needs and care.

This broad pattern can be an indication that you might have people-pleasing tendencies. This can also be associated with other concerns such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, feelings of shame, or perfectionism, to name a few.

Get Counseling for People Pleasing in Weston

Making the decision to put yourself first and focus on your needs might feel like it goes against the grain for you. And yet, I’m sure there’s a little voice inside of you that is pleading with you to put your needs first and to take care of yourself. This voice is reminding you that you’re needs matter. If you’re ready to listen to that voice, schedule your free consultation by clicking on the button below.

Schedule a free consultation

My approach to Counseling for People Pleasing in Weston

The good news is that you can learn how to stop letting these people-pleasing tendencies have so much control of your life! And that’s where I come in; my work with you is to start identifying which areas of your life these traits are no longer working for you and explore the underlying reasons driving these behaviors.

There can be many different reasons for these behaviors, which can be different depending on the setting or situation where you notice these difficulties. Some causes can include:

  • Certain childhood experiences.
  • Family dynamics or relationships that reinforced some of these behaviors.
  • Feeling less than, which then drives the desire for external validation.
  • Fears of abandonment can be related to feeling abandoned at some point in your life.
  • Some of these behaviors have actually helped you in certain situations (i.e., work or school), which can further strengthen them.
  • Or none of the above, and there’s an entirely different reason unique to your life and experience.

Once we both understand what role these behaviors are playing, you can start working to change how you react to these old patterns.

It’s completely OK that some of these thoughts and feelings show up; that’s not the issue. The issue is that when some of these painful experiences show you, they tend to take over and call the shots completely. I hope to empower you with tools to help you learn to manage these experiences so they can stop having so much power in your life. I will also encourage you to focus on showing up to your life from your values and making small but consistent forward moves (whatever that looks like for you).

I tend to use tools from different modalities in your therapy for people-pleasing. Primarily, I will draw upon Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Interventions, and Compassion Focused Therapy. Additionally, I will use some tools from my training as a Certified Daring Way Facilitator based on Brené Brown’s work.

FAQ for People Pleasing Therapy in Weston

It depends on the extent to which the people-pleasing tendencies are causing issues in your life. The most common problems are that your needs are not being met, leading you to feel drained, overwhelmed, and resentful. Additionally, many people might find that their not happy with their relationships with romantic partners, friends, family members, or colleagues because they find themselves either settling or struggling to set appropriate limits in these relationships. If you find that yes, you might lean towards some of these signs, but you’re able to manage them on your own without it causing too much distress, then you might not need counseling for people pleasing. But if you find you do resonate with many of the signs and recognize that the cost for yourself is too much, it might be a sign that you could benefit from counseling.

Absolutely!

Therapy can help you start understanding what tends to trigger some of your people pleasing tendencies and the role it’s causing in your life. You will also start to understand when some of the behaviors work in your favor and when they don’t.

Then you get to decide what you want your goals to be when it comes to these behaviors. Do you want to be able to set limits? Do you want to be able to handle the uncomfortable feelings that prevent you from saying no? Do you want to stop letting all the fears bully you into staying quiet? Do you want to feel confident in your ability to be assertive and feel like you got this?

Now, having said all that, I always tell people that going to therapy has no 100% guarantees because there are many different factors involved. Yet, my goal is to tailor counseling to your needs and work with you to make progress.

I can’t give you an answer to that because it depends on your unique situation, including your life story, current circumstances, how much people pleasing has taken over, and your goals. I know not having a concrete answer is highly frustrating. It doesn’t mean that you’ll be in therapy for years, which I know can be a myth that once you start counseling, you’ll be in it for years. I’d typically recommend planning to commit at least six sessions initially, but of course, you don’t have to do that. You can schedule an initial appointment and ultimately decide if you want to continue or not.

That’s completely OK and normal! You’re the one that gets to decide what you want to change and what you don’t; you get to call the shots. I’m sure there have been many times in your life when being a people’s pleasure worked in your favor, and it felt like the right decision. Great! We don’t need to change those instances. If there is a conflict between what you want to achieve and what you would have to change, my job is to point out that discrepancy and let you decide how to proceed.

My office

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Other Areas Served for People Pleasing Therapy

Davie, Plantation, Southwest Ranches, Sunrise, Fort Lauderdale, Broward County, South Florida

My office is located 5 minutes away from Exit 15, Royal Palm Blvd W, of I-75, allowing me to provide in-person therapy for people pleasing to residents in the areas listed above. Additionally, I offer Telehealth (video) sessions across the state of Florida. So I can offer video sessions if you’re physically located anywhere in Florida from the comfort of your home. If you have any questions about Telehealth, contact me here.