Hi everyone! My name is Diana Garcia, and I’m a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida and the owner of a private practice called Nurturing Minds Counseling. 

I’ve decided to do a Holiday Self-Care Series with 12 Days of tips you can apply immediately. My hope with this series is to provide you with some tools to help reduce the overwhelm that can come with the holiday season. Because regardless of your feelings towards the holidays, it is a truth universally acknowledged that the holidays can increase your stress levels!

Day 1 was focused on mindfulness, and I guided you through a three-minute breathing space. If you missed that one, I do recommend that you go one first: Holiday Self-Care Series: Day 1.

Holiday Self-Care Series: Day 2: Naming Your Triggers

For Day 2, I want to talk about knowing what could be stressful for you ahead of time. Today’s tip is about listing and acknowledging your triggers, which can be unique for everyone. 

If you prefer to watch the video on this, check out the video here. If not, keep scrolling to continue reading the blog.

Video on Holiday Self-Care Series: Day 2: Naming Your Triggers

To be able to take care of yourself during the holidays, it’s crucial to know what are your specific triggers. I will list some common triggers that can occur during the holiday season, but the goal of this blog is to make sure you start to identify yours. If you relate to some of the common stressors that I’ll share, I recommend that you get even more specific so you’re better prepared to handle them. 

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed when you’ve walked into a situation can feel so uncomfortable. So by trying to plan ahead a little abit, you might be able to prevent yourself from feeling caught off guard or frozen on how to engage. 

There are situations in life where that will still happen because there’s always uncertainty in life. But when you know yourself and your individual history, you’re in a better position to understand what could potentially be hard for you. 

During the holiday season, many of my sessions with my clients are about coping ahead and planning for potentially difficult situations. And truly gaining clarity about what factors contribute to these situations being stressful for them. And then, focus on brainstorming some ways to cope in those moments. 

When thinking of a trigger, it’s like imagining if you had a button in your chest, and you need to consider what could push that button for you? It’s helpful to consider your previous experiences and when you have noticed feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to proceed. You can aslo reflect on your current relationships and whether any tend to drain you. 

And remember, there’s no trigger too silly or insignificant. Be honest with yourself if certain situations are hard for you, even if your mind says, “this is dumb.” 

I will list some common triggers that can occur during the holiday season, but the goal of this blog is to make sure you start to identify yours. If you relate to some of the common stressors that I’ll share, I recommend that you get even more specific so you’re better prepared to handle them. 

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed when you’ve walked into a situation can feel so uncomfortable. So by trying to plan ahead a little bit, you might be able to prevent yourself from feeling caught off guard or frozen on how to engage. 

Common Hardships During Holidays

Interactions with Family Members

Listen, family dynamics are real and can be difficult as heck! And if that’s the case, it’s ok to acknowledge that certain family gatherings can be stressful. Maybe there is some tension in a specific relationship. There may be a family member that always tends to say the wrong things or rubs you the wrong way. 

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Photo by Antenna on Unsplash

Perhaps your relationship with one or both parents is strained or difficult to navigate because of the feelings and thoughts that come up for you in their presence. You may notice an increase in people-pleasing tendencies when around your parents. Again, this can be tough, and you can find ways to navigate it to take care of yourself. Listen, I could do a whole separate blog on family dynamics during the holidays because that’s how common it can be.

Experiencing Grief during the Holidays 

The holiday season can be particularly tough if you’re dealing with grief. Whether this is your first holiday without your loved one or it’s been an ongoing experience of loss.  It’s normal that the holidays can trigger immense waves of grief. It’s helpful to acknowledge if this is part of your experience during the holiday season and have a reserve of self-compassion and support to help you when the loss feels heightened. 

You can decide if and how you want to grieve during the season. Whether that means you want to talk about your loved one or find ways to honor them. If that’s not where you at either, that’s fine too. Again if you can just identify this will be a trigger for you. You can even further nail down if there is a specific part of the holidays that bring on grief, such as decorating the tree without your loved one or going to a particular store you use to go with your loved one.

Handling all the Social Interactions 

The holidays can include more opportunities for social gatherings, which can be both enriching and stress-inducing, particularly if you struggle with social anxiety. Even if it’s a social gathering that you’re looking forward to, it could bring on feelings of anxiety and insecurity about engaging socially. And if you do go, you might have to plan how you want to show in those social moments and notice what specific thoughts and feelings are difficult. You might also have to plan for some extra time to recharge after attending one or multiple events. 

Let’s say some events feel more like social obligations, like your partner’s holiday work party or your neighbor’s cookie party, which can feel tougher since your motivation might feel low. In those instances, consider why you ultimately are going and why it is important to you. To be a good partner? To make some closer connections in your neighborhood? And if you’re struggling to tap into your why, also consider whether you absolutely have to go.

Handling the Extra To-Dos

Consider if more responsibilities are added to your plate in the coming weeks. And if these added tasks are firing up some of your generalized anxiety. Or you may feel a need to do all these tasks perfectly, which adds too much pressure. 

Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash

It might be helpful to acknowledge whether there are certain tasks that you can outsource or seek support from others in your life. Can your mother-in-law help with wrapping the gifts for the kids? Or reflect if there are tasks that aren’t even important to you, but you just feel like you have to do them? If so, can you potentially let some of those go? Just start by naming and listing the specific tasks that are causing you extra stress.

Managing any Financial Stress 

Let’s be real, there are more expenses during the holidays. Whether that’s because of buying gifts, attending more social outings with friends, or spending money on decorations, cards, etc. All these little expenses can add up and can add some financial anxiety, especially if the budget is tighter this year. 

Or maybe you’ve budgeted for the holidays, but you and your partner are not on the same page, so that causes some strive in the relationship. Or maybe the financial stress shows up when you feel self-imposed pressure to buy gifts at a certain price tag? Just consider if finances are playing a role during the holidays for you. 

Next Steps

To recap, Day 2 of the Holiday Self-Care Series clarifies what could/typically stresses you out during the holidays. To prevent being caught off caught and make a plan to deal with some of these, it’s vital to name and list your triggers.

I provide some general and common holiday hardships to see if any resonate with you. If they do great, I advise you to drill those further down so you are crystal clear about what that trigger is and if it’s likely to occur in the following weeks. 

Alright, guys, I hope the second tip in the Holiday Self-Care Series is helpful.  

Check out these other resources to take care of yourself during the holiday season:

Lastly, I hope you continue nurturing your mind, body, and soul, whatever that looks like for you.